Tugging

You walked into my life with a smile that could light up a whole room,

And although I wasn’t looking for it,

I found home in your arms. 

I found, in you, what it meant to not only be loved,

But to be loved deeply, freely, and without any doubt. 

I didn’t know you were my soulmate.

Of course, love can take you by surprise. 

Yet, I sat next to you and I somehow felt tethered to you.

Almost as if there were a strong, unbreakable rope,

Tied around both of our hearts, 

Pulling me towards you. 

The closer I got, the less tugging there was. 

Once I was next to you,

In your arms,

It not only felt as though the tugging had stopped. 

It was almost as if the rope had changed direction,

And was hugging my heart, gently. 

I told myself, before I knew that you felt the rope, too,

That I could move forward with my life with that tugging present. 

I thought, certainly, no matter if you felt the pull or not,

That you would never waiver to be with me. 

Not because you didn’t seem to care, 

But because you cared so much. 

You walked into my life at a time where nothing was black and white.

The colors were presented on the walls of my home,

Abstract without intention. 

No, I didn’t need to be saved.

Nonetheless, chaos surrounded me.

And instead of being frightened by the patterns on the walls,

You embraced them, just as you embraced me. 

You saw in me, the beauty, through the chaos,

And you followed the tugging as if it were a lost child trying to find home. 

I know that I am okay on my own. 

I know that I can love and be loved, alone.

Before you, however, 

And before the tugging ceased,

I hadn’t known the lengths of which I could be loved. 

I hadn’t known that someone could look at me, 

See me so clearly, 

And have the amount of admiration for me that I could see in your eyes and your smile. 

I didn’t know that I could brighten someone’s day, 

Or give meaning to an object,

Or that the tugging could stop in the first place. 

I think our ropes have been connected our whole lives,

Because only now does this knot feel like hope.

Through you, I didn’t only find that I could be loved without conditions.

I found that I could love unconditionally. 

Before you, I was starting to imagine a life on my own,

Because a soulmate was simply something I thought I lacked. 

Yet, when I looked at you, I was home.

I’ve heard people say that a love that is fleeting is the best kind of love,

Or that the comfort and calm bores them. 

This love, the love I share with you, 

Is the comfort and the calm,

And it is far from fleeting.

Yet, I have never once been bored by the silence. 

The calm, the safety I feel in your arms, 

Is part of what makes all of this worth it. 

A love so passionate, yet so gentle. 

Poetry is brief, I am on the third page of this prose,

And I am not even close to running out of words. 

I could tell you I love you a million times over, 

And you still would not come close to understanding how deeply you affect me. 

I thought the tugging was normal. 

I thought the pull was simply the wanting, desiring, that never ceases to exist within the human body.

I thought it was something unachievable, merely because us humans are filled with longing our whole lives.

At least, that’s what I was told. 

Now, the rope hugs my heart when you’re next to me. 

Now, the tugging stops the moment I see your smile. 

This isn’t boring, I wish I could tell these lost souls. 

You just haven’t found home yet. 

Once you find that home,

Your person, your soulmate,

You’ll never feel more alive.  

I choose you. 

I choose you when the tugging is strong,

I choose you when the days are hard. 

I choose you when the distance is long, 

And we’re miles apart.

I choose you, every day, always.